Sheila Bryson

Why The Downturn Sucks for People Who Still Have Jobs

Why does the downturn suck for people who still have jobs?

Because you aren't allowed to complain about your job.  EVER.

Even if you are super slammed at work, clocking 16 hours days, working weekends, etc, in a downturn you are pretty much not allowed to complain about how rough work is because the response is always going to be, "Well at least you have a job," which then makes you feel like an asshole.  

This leads you to bottle up your unrealeased frustration and perhaps you deal with it by taking it out on your liver or in the case of many AmeriCanadian readers you end up watching too much internet porn.

Why I Will Never Be a Feminist

I really respect women who are hardcore feminists. Many of them call themselves "womyn" with a y. Get it? Like we are our own sex, but not one that was born from Adam's rib or whatever. To me the whole womyn thing is the wrong way to go, why choose a word that sounds the same but is only off by one letter? If it were up to me I would want us to be called something way cooler. I was thinking that we could hijack the name of a cool animal instead? Could we be the Wolverines maybe? While Hugh Jackman might not approve, wolverines are bad assed and the word even starts with W- which will make the transition a lot easier. You might be thinking to yourself, what about the wolverines? Well there are only so many of them in Michigan and there are billions of women so I think we win by majority. Forget wolverines for a second: what if we stole an extinct animal's name- like one of the dinosaurs!! Seriously, what if the entire female gender was re-named the Velociraptors? Try to pay a Velciraptor less than a man, motherfuckers!!!