Sheila Bryson

2008-11-04T16:15:24Z

Watch. This. Now.

Paul Mitchell Pulls An Even Creepier Photoshoot with His Son Than Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus

Seriously, this is perverse- what's with the snake around the naked kids' neck!?

The quote on this ad for a shitty movie

Makes me want to see this shitty movie even less.

Sunday Night Anxiety: Cured by Humping?

Here it is again- Sunday night. In spite of being an evening that hosts two of my favorite shows (Mad Men and The Amazing Race) it totally stresses me out. This week it is in a heightened state because I got high school drunk on Friday and Saturday nights. So not only am I feeling anxious about the week ahead, but I was also awake until 2:30 am on both nights so can't get to sleep at a time that would come close to giving me a solid 8, 7 or even 6 hours (not to mention the booze sweats). Sometimes I think what I really need on a Sunday night is a long hard hump- but that just isn't in the cards right now.

Twenty Twenty Twenty Four Hours To Go

This has been the longest week known to human kind. Are you with me people?

Love. This.

AmeriCanadian Bows Down to Her 12-Year-Old Niece Who is the Family's Only Diabolical Genius

My youngest niece Claire just turned 12 in September, and to say she's a shit disturber is an understatement.  She is always up to something, and she's so understated about her schemes, it really is amazing to observe.

Here is my interpretation of her latest.

My sister receives a random email from McGraw Hill, the company that publishes my nieces math text books. The email said, "Dear Mrs. Sister of AmeriCanadian.  Thanks for your interest, but it is our policy to not sell/send out the teacher's editions of our text books to non-professionals.  Best, Some Flunky at McGraw Hill."

My sister scrolls down to see that my niece had hacked her email and written McGraw Hill a note requesting the text book, impersonating my sister claiming to be "tutoring my daughter, and it would be really helpful to have the teacher's edition."

Now this is pretty genius on it's own, but the even more amazing/scarier part is that my niece had convinced my sister that the computer was broken so that she wouldn't check her email- there was even a staged dramatic scene that she enacted to convince my sister that it was busted.  She just happened to give it a try.

On the other hand, the same kid had her older sister snap this picture of a drawing she made for me which apparently says get better soon Auntie Sheila.  See below.

AmeriCanadian Dreams

In a perfect world I would be able to make Hip Hop by Dead Prez play whenever you visit AmeriCanadian. That would make me the Dave Chappelle of white chicks from Canada who live in the US and blog about stupid shit like vagina knees.

WTF Facebook Targeted Ads?

So I'm assuming that the ads on Facebook are targeted based on profile information and potentially information on your wall, etc.  I have to question what Facebook information of mine they have been scanning to suggest the ads that have been "targeted" at me.  Here are my best guesses:

1) Black Singles: I get the singles thing, but the black part presents more of a question mark.  I think perhaps it is because I have a picture of myself and "Big Black Boykin" in my mobile uploads? Oh, or is it my taste in music??  That would be weirder.

2) Christian Singles: my thinking here is that they picked up the headline of one of my recent posts that had to do with what type of underpants I should wear for surgery and if I should pray just to hedge my bets.

3) Gambling Problems?: I have a lot of pictures from Vegas and my other habits could lead one to believe that I would have a predisposition to gambling.  I also play Playfish games way too much, perhaps they spot an obsessive personality with time on her hands?